Blogs

Revising for Context

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The draft has the right kinds of information because it is nothing too intense, but it contains skills that are important to learning Photoshop. However, I overran the amount of pages I was aiming for.

I think that I provide good information because I provide screenshots of my own work in my project as examples.

I need to revise it a bit to give more explanation of why someone would use these processes and put some more emotion into it since it seems solely instructional right now.

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"About Me" and Documentation Revision

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I discovered that I have way too many "I haves" and "this will be" terms that could easily be taken out or changed to make the writings sound better. I also realized that I have a problem with starting sentences with "I am" every time, especially in the "About Me." This process helped me realize these things and see where I need to make changes to my sentences.

"About Me"

Before:

I am currently interning at Bosch Rexroth in Fountain Inn in the quality department.

After:

Currently, I intern at Bosch Rexroth in Fountain Inn in the quality department.

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Paramedic Method

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Before: I'm a highly motivated, socially aware individual who excels in establishing and maintaining relationships.

After: Highly motivated, socially perceptive young professional who excels in establishing and maintaining relationships with key clients.

Before: I can effectively communicate corporate branding through facebook, instagram, and twitter, as well as my own personal networking.

After: Effectively communicates corporate brand through social media and personal networking.

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Reading Response 5

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Audience
❏ Does the draft have the right amount and kinds of information,
considering your readers’ experience and knowledge?

Yes, since I'm catering to readers who may not have a lot of experience with the adobe suite, I was sure to be detailed.

❏ Does the draft reveal that you know what you are talking about? Will
readers trust you and believe your information is accurate? (These are
questions about ethos; see page 11.)

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