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Learning Module 5

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Learning about the Paramedic Method allowed me to revise many sentences in my documentation project as well as my resume project. When I read about the Paramedic Method and then read through my drafts, I realized a lot of the sentences didn't match up well with this method. When I used this method to edit sentences, they often became more clear and less wordy. I often find myself using too many words in my sentences when it is better to be straight forward and use more action verbs. This method will certainly help me in my writing in the future.

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Paramedic Method

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I tried using the paramedic method on both of my projects, and was surprised at how poor my prose was. I've revised some of my sentences cutting them into separate sentences, combining others, and just changing the verb in some others. For example:

About Me:

Before: My Biology emphasis has allowed me opportunities to work in laboratory settings where I developed skills on how to operate equipment and handle hazardous chemicals.

After: My Biology emphasis has given me opportunities working in laboratory settings, operating equipment, and handling hazardous chemicals.

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Revising for Context

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I feel as though the draft has the right kind of information, with the assumption that my readers are college aged students with access to social media networks such as instagram, facebook, etc. The information is very clear and communicates my knowledge of the topic well. Readers may feel interested or excited to try out these new techniques on their on facebook or instagram pages.

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Revising For Context

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1) I think that my draft has the right kinds of information. Acrobat isn't a terribly complicated program, so I feel like most of any problems would be unfamiliarity with the program. I think I showed a lot of pictures and spent a lot of time trying to show where everything was located.

2) All of my instructions come along with pictures documenting the process. I feel like this gives me credibility that I know what I am talking about.

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Applying the Paramedic Method

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Documentation:

Sentence 1:While it is not completely necessary to completely follow the rule of thirds for a profile picture, moving the subject to one side slightly will help make the picture more visually appealing.

After:While it is not necessary to be completely accurate, moving the subject to one side slightly will help make the picture more visually appealing.

Sentient 2. After cropping, create a duplicate of this layer on the right hand side of the screen so that it can be further edited without losing the original.

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Paramedic Method

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Using the paramedic method, I revised some of my sentences so that they varied between short and long. I also revised some of the verbs. Here are some examples:

Here is how the paramedic method improved my About Me:

Before:
I am currently an intern at Clemson Online, where I do preliminary research for initiatives, create media using Adobe software, and participated in various other marketing activities.

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Technical Case Study 2

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After conduction research on our case study topic of Venmo we came across quite a bit of new information about how Venmo operates and some of the issues people are discovering with it. Venmo was originally created by two student from the University of Pennsylvania because they were tired of always having to keep track of who owed who whenever some one did not have money. Venmo has grown since its creation and is now owned by online payment giant PayPal. Venmo is different from PayPal or Square in the way that it has added a social media aspect to the electronic banking world.

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