Learning Module 6

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Before: Those visiting the Disneyland Resort in Anaheim, California also had the opportunity to purchase collectible hats in which all of the precedes went to Make-A-Wish. 7,500 of these 60th Anniversary Ear Hats (Figure 4) were available to raise an additional $150,000 for Make-A-Wish.

After: Those visiting the Disneyland Resort in Anaheim, California also had the opportunity to purchase collectible hats in which all of the proceeds went to Make-A-Wish. 7,500 of these 60th Anniversary Ear Hats (Figure 4) were available to raise an additional $150,000 for Make-A-Wish.

We had a typo where precedes should have been proceeds.

Before: For every photo posted to Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter with the hashtag #ShareYourEars, Disney Parks would donate $5 to Make-A-Wish up to one million dollars from February until the end of March 2016.

After: Starting in February 2016 until March 2016, Disney Parks would donate $5 to Make-A-Wish for every photo posted to Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter with the hashtag #ShareYourEars up to one million dollars.

My revisions improved the readability of our case study. The original sentence here was choppy, and I think that the revised sentence flows much better. I felt that the other sentences in the "Proposed Solution" section of our case study did not need to be changed.

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