Learning Module 6

Before: The Make-A-Wish Foundation provides hope, joy, and strength to children with life- threatening medical conditions by granting their wishes. On an average of every 21 seconds, Make-A-Wish makes a child’s wish a reality. The organization is active in almost fifty countries. They are responsible for granting over 350,000 wishes since 1980. Around eight thousand of these wishes are Disney related.

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Learning Module 6

Original:
The Context: Venmo was created by two young men who met in college and bounced from job to job as software engineers, but always dreamed of creating their own startup. These men are Iqram Magdon-Ismail and Andrew Kortina. They tried out a couple different ideas for a startup like “Swooge” and “Philafunk” before the idea of money sharing came to fruition.

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Learning Module 6

I evaluated the solution and what we learned section of my case study. Sometimes I tend to use run on sentences so while revising I fixed some sentences to be more precise and exact. Overall the revision has made it easier to read, and less confusing.

Some examples:
Twelve years later, the campaign is still in full swing
The campaign is still in full swing twelve years later.

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Learning Module 6

Before: Those visiting the Disneyland Resort in Anaheim, California also had the opportunity to purchase collectible hats in which all of the precedes went to Make-A-Wish. 7,500 of these 60th Anniversary Ear Hats (Figure 4) were available to raise an additional $150,000 for Make-A-Wish.

After: Those visiting the Disneyland Resort in Anaheim, California also had the opportunity to purchase collectible hats in which all of the proceeds went to Make-A-Wish. 7,500 of these 60th Anniversary Ear Hats (Figure 4) were available to raise an additional $150,000 for Make-A-Wish.

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Five Principles of Readability

Before:
When Disaster strikes the first thing on everyone’s mind is “are my friends and family safe?” Unfortunately, due to the nature of a disaster, there is often widespread panic. This panic causes phone lines to be jammed and texting to be limited. The challenge that Facebook had when creating the “Safety Check” was providing a tool that allowed people to quickly let their loved ones know they were ok, while also only utilizes the phone's internet capabilities.

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