readability

Learning Module 6

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Before: Those visiting the Disneyland Resort in Anaheim, California also had the opportunity to purchase collectible hats in which all of the precedes went to Make-A-Wish. 7,500 of these 60th Anniversary Ear Hats (Figure 4) were available to raise an additional $150,000 for Make-A-Wish.

After: Those visiting the Disneyland Resort in Anaheim, California also had the opportunity to purchase collectible hats in which all of the proceeds went to Make-A-Wish. 7,500 of these 60th Anniversary Ear Hats (Figure 4) were available to raise an additional $150,000 for Make-A-Wish.

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Five Principles of Readability

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Before:
When Disaster strikes the first thing on everyone’s mind is “are my friends and family safe?” Unfortunately, due to the nature of a disaster, there is often widespread panic. This panic causes phone lines to be jammed and texting to be limited. The challenge that Facebook had when creating the “Safety Check” was providing a tool that allowed people to quickly let their loved ones know they were ok, while also only utilizes the phone's internet capabilities.

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Paragraph Revision

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Before: According to the United Nations, 783 million people do not have access to clean water, and 2.5 billion people do not have access to sanitation. Approximately 1000 children die each day due to diseases they contracted from unsanitary water. The fact that so many people do not have access to something that a lot of others take for granted is horrifying. Many couldn’t imagine life without clean tap water and don’t have to worry that the next sip of water they take could kill them.

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Learning Module 6

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I applied the 5 principles of readability to the "Statement of the Problem" and "Overview of the Context" paragraphs.

Statement of the Problem Before:
Clemson Athletics wants sold out events— whether it be a game, meet, or match. The issue is, events do not always sell out. The Marketing Department turned to social media recently to help achieve their goal of increasing attendance at games after not having the results they wanted.

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